Hollyweirdness continues...

Great job on the punchlines from yesterday. Since a number of you only read this blog on the weekdays (translation: goofing off at work... and I love you for it), I'm going to give you all one more day to enter. Tomorrow I will comment on the entries and talk a little bit about the process of writing jokes. So put on your funny boots and have at it.

Also tomorrow, a somewhat big, certainly not major but still fairly large announcement.

Meanwhile, for today....


People think of Hollywood as just this superficial tourist trap. Not so. There is much high end culture to be found in Hollywood. Museums even. Allow me to point out two of the classiest:

The Frederick's of Hollywood Lingerie Museum and Celebrity Lingerie Hall of Fame

And ….

The Psychiatry -- An Industry of Death – museum.

At the Museum of Lingerie you can see Natalie Wood’s bra from BOB AND CAROL AND TED AND ALICE, Fabio’s sleeveless undershirt, and assorted sordid underwear from Cher, Joan Collins, Madonna, and (this scares me) Rosie O’Donnell. Sorry: no panties from Britney Spears since she doesn’t wear any. And to elevate its stature even more (as if that's possible), there are two framed edicts signed by former Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley announcing that Frederick's Lingerie Museum is "one of Hollywood's most popular tourist attractions."

It’s probably more popular than….

The Psychiatry museum of death. This fair and balanced exhibit is funded by (surprise surprise) Scientology. And at it’s opening event on December 17, 2005 these Hollywood nutcases attended the ceremony: Priscilla Presley, Lisa Marie Presley, Danny Masterson, Giovanni Ribisi, Leah Remini, Catherine Bell, and Anne Archer. Name me one of them who couldn’t use a good 5000-volt jolt of electro-shock (7000 for Ms. Remini).

I’m not sure what the actual cautionary exhibits are. Loonies suffocated while being rounded up in those big nets? Freudians falling off couches and landing on their heads? Waiting rooms with asbestos ceilings? Being forced to try on Rosie O’Donnell’s underwear?

I think it’s fair to say that anyone who attends the Psychiatry museum of death not only needs psychiatry but institutionalization for many many years – like say 40.

So for tourists I say, you don’t need to see these freak shows when you visit Tinsel Town. Instead, get over to a legitimate attraction – Soap Plant/Wacko on Hollywood Blvd. Here you can buy such nifty souvenirs such as inflatable palm trees, a voice changer, tiki ware, and books like “101 Uses for Tampon Applicators” (not a joke). There’s also an art gallery upstairs.

I’m telling you, who needs the Louvre?