More Emmy thoughts before they start the "get off" music

The Chabad telethon still rules! Sunday’s Emmycast was the second lowest rated in history. And that’s with Joely Fisher practically wearing tassels on her breasts.

I’m surprised many pundits claimed that 30 ROCK was an upset. Not to me. It was funny. It was fresh. And when given the same assignment – Tina Fey proved to be a better writer than Aaron Sorkin.

Actors who star in procedural dramas should be eligible for “Best Exposition” acting awards. Half of what they do is explain technical lab gogglydigook to each other even though they're the only ones on the planet who know it. And the truth is, with a show like CSI you don’t really give a crap whether Gil Grissom finds love, you wanna know who did it and whether the French’s low calorie mustard stain or distinctive Ethiopian Prince Ruspoli’s Turaco gave away the murderer.

I’ve only been to Emmy telecasts so I can’t compare them with other self congrat love fests. But they are thunderously boring to attend. After one hour, a horrible production number led by Donald Trump, the Academy’s salute to Kathy Lee Gifford, and three interminable acceptance speeches half the audience is in the lobby.

Yes, they are hard to produce but the key is a great host. If you have someone who brings it all together you’re more than halfway home. Sunday night’s show seemed very disjointed.

The Golden Globes have better audiences because they can drink, Oscars have better audiences because the awards mean more, the Tonys have real entertainment, and the MTV awards has Britney Spears morphing into the later-years Elvis.

But if you think Sunday’s Emmycast was bad, in 1980 there was an actor’s strike so the host was local Channel 4 news anchor, Kelly Lange. The only actors who appeared were Powers Booth, who broke the picket line to collect his statuette, and some actress flown in from China who was going to be featured in SHOGUN. I sat in the audience that night and the highlight of the evening was losing so I could leave.

The booth announcer Sunday night was Rebecca Riedy. That truly is a thankless job and you’re only recognized if you screw up, which is bound to happen on a live broadcast sometime. When Rebecca mispronounced Katherine Heigl’s name, it wasn’t necessarily her fault. Someone might have given her that wrong pronunciation. In any event, it’s worth taking a moment to salute two of the best booth announcers – Randy Thomas and Neilson Ross. And other than that one mistake Rebecca did a damn fine job.

If you’re familiar with FAMILY GUY, the opening number was a hoot. If you’re not, it was just some smug cartoon characters taking cheap shots at television. To me the fun of that number was the cutaways to Jeremy Piven and other audience members clearly not laughing.

This is Greg Daniels of THE OFFICE. There are probably two million blogs and websites with Emmy coverage. I bet mine is the ONLY one on the entire internet to feature a picture of a writer.

I know I was harsh on the Academy for giving James Gandolfini’s Emmy to James Spader. So let’s say Gandolfini was not even in the mix. Then I would say it was a travesty James Spader beat Hugh Laurie for the Best Actor award.

Ricky Gervais is a BRILLIANT comic actor. But I’ll never be convinced his win wasn’t just a make-up for not recognizing his work on the original OFFICE.

Word is leaking out that this years American League Cy Young Award winner will be Helen Mirren.

Lots of people are blasting Fox for using the show to pimp their schedule, lowlighted by that horrid Wayne Brady SO YOU THINK YOU CAN REMEMBER LYRICS BETTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER (or whatever the hell his show is called) parody. But the truth is EVERY network does that when it’s their turn. If Sunday’s show were on CBS the children from KID NATION would be voicing the ROOTS tribute.

If you’re going to use THE JERSEY BOYS for a tribute at least use the original cast. These guys were impersonating the JERSEY BOYS impersonating the Four Seasons. Or use film clips of other actors impersonating THE SOPRANOS during the songs.

When you watched the IN MEMORIAM piece, how many times did you say, “I didn’t know he/she was dead”?

Don’t you wish Anne Heche had won an award and Ellen DeGeneres had to present it to her?

Considering the dismal ratings and reviews, my guess is Ryan Seacrest will not be asked back. My vote is for Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to host but knowing the Academy it will be Elisabeth Hasselbeck.