Monday, October 1, 2007

A Royal mistake


The baseball playoffs begin Wednesday. Although it will probably be impossible to top the Rockies' win over the Padres to claim the NL Wild Card. Wow. Congratulations to all eight teams that made it (although, God, I’m so sick of the Yankees) and my deepest condolences to Mets fans. Maybe the worst collapse since AfterMASH premiered with a 49 share and ended with a 19 share (back in the days when there was just three networks and no cable). How I ever got work after that I can't imagine.

I know a lot of my readers could care less about baseball, especially those in Djibouti and Miami, but in honor of the playoffs I thought I’d share a humorous baseball story I bet you’ve never heard.

Rush Limbaugh once worked for the Kansas City Royals. When he wasn’t trying to convince Bombo Rivera and Onix Concepcion that they should register Republican, he was in the front office – “Promotions Director on loan from God” might’ve been his title. Anyway, among his responsibilities was organizing the daily first-pitch ceremony.

One night he escorted a whole group of church children onto the field. It wasn’t until he got them settled on the mound that he realized he had forgotten a ball. So he called into the Royals dugout asking if anyone had a spare baseball.

Big mistake.

From out of the dugout came hundreds of balls. Players emptied the batting practice bucket. It was like a hail storm. The excited kids all broke ranks and scurried after the rolling souvenirs. The result was absolute pandemonium. The game was delayed fifteen minutes. Ushers and the grounds crew scrambled desperately, trying to wrangle the frenzied youngsters and baseballs.

The incident caused quite a stir and to my knowledge, Rush Limbaugh was never heard from again. So take heed Mets fans (and now Padres fans) – baseball can be a cruel cruel sport.

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