Another Special Edition of BLADE RUNNER? Really?

I understand this Christmas another special edition of BLADE RUNNER will be released. It will come in a briefcase, have a gazillion stills, and feature five different cuts of the movie. How many endings can there be?

All movies that have saved their original footage can re-release new versions. I’m surprised more do not. “The test audience hated version”. “The Andie McDowell version”. “The first director’s version”. “Kevin Costner’s cut version.” “The seven hour version”.

It’s not enough to sell DVDs today. Now they must come loaded with features. Like….

Hilarious outtakes. All the same, every movie. Actors going up on lines and laughing hysterically. I’m glad they’re amused. Unless it’s Julie Andrews saying “Motherfucker!!” I’m really not entertained.

Deleted Scenes. Imagine a scene not good enough to make the final cut of DEUCE BIGELOW. What a treat to see that! In most cases, deleted scenes are like bakeries trying to lure customers by offering day old muffins to their selection of fresh goods.

Theatrical Trailers. You’ve seen it seven times in the theater, twice on the net, four times at the front of other DVDs, and now you get to see it again. More fun would be “Deleted Trailers” – the ones that tested poorly, the marketing campaigns that didn’t work.

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE must have nine of these. It’s a Beatles movie. It’s a drama. It’s a coming-of-age film. It’s a musical. It’s a Julie Taymor movie. It’s a period piece. It’s a romance. It’s a two-hour music video. It’s THE LITTLE MERMAID with drug related songs.

The "Making Of" Documentary. A fifteen minute journey into pretension, justification, and self delusion. See the serious artists at work as they make GOOD LUCK, CHUCK.

And finally, Bonus Commentary Tracks. According to the current WGA contract, producers are obligated to let writers record a commentary track. However, they are not obligated to include it. So when a writer records a track and a director records a track and they decide to use only one, which do you think it will be? But at least the writer got to waste a day recording it.

For every good insightful, revealing director’s track there are a hundred useless ones. They just describe what you’re seeing on the screen. “In that shot I wanted to show the car.” “Okay, here is where I thought you needed a close-up.” Zzzzzzzzz. Put a mike in front of most directors and they become Tim McCarver.

Here’s a wacky idea. Instead of loading these DVD releases with unnecessary and often costly features, how about if the studios used that money instead to pay fair royalties to the writers, directors, and actors responsible for those movies in the first place? Is the “Making of EVAN ALMIGHTY” worth major labor strikes?