Holiday Movie Preview: Part 2

More of the movies Hollywood is force feeding you.

MR. MAGORIUM’S WONDER EMPORIUM – Another movie DOA. Dustin Hoffman in his studied meticulous attempt at whimsy. I know there’s torture-porn. Is there such a thing as enchantment-porn?

THE MIST – Stephen King’s latest horror film. Giant can of Lysol threatens the earth.

THE SAVAGES – Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney are siblings dealing with their dying father. I bet they learn life lessons.

AWAKE – Jessica Alba (pictured right), whose last good movie was CAMP NOWHERE, tries it once again.

GRACE IS GONE – John Cusack seems to be a widower in every movie. In this one he takes a road trip. Life lessons and rest stops at Shoneys.

P.S. I LOVE YOU – Widows and widowers are in! Hilary Swank is the one left behind in this one. She tries to live out her ex’s to-do list. I hope “pay life insurance bill” was already crossed off the list.

CASSANDRA’S DREAM – Woody Allen’s 286th movie. Two brothers in London turn to crime. Original title: BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU’RE BRITISH.

THE PERFECT HOLIDAY – The one shopping mall Santa in history that gets lucky.

ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS – Why? Younger viewers have no idea who they are and older viewers never loved them anyway. Add to that a shit joke in the trailer and you have the makings for the season’s biggest bomb.

YOUTH WITHOUT YOUTH – Francis Ford Coppola is back after ten years of stomping grapes to present a thriller about a professor (Tim Roth) on the run from the Nazis. If it was Alvin and the Chipmunks instead of the professor I think I’d root for the Nazis.

THE GREAT DEBATERS – Denzel Washington and Forest Whitaker as debaters. Denzel also directs so I’m guessing he wins.

ALIEN VS. PREDATOR REQUIEM – Opens Christmas day so I assume it’s a holiday movie for the entire family. Maybe there are even songs!

THE BUCKET LIST – Jack Nicholson & Morgan Freeman have some things to do before they die. Morgan has to be in six more Ashley Judd-in-jeopardy movies and Jack has to be able to fit into size 44 pants.

CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR – Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman...written by Aaron Sorkin, directed by Mike Nichols. Who cares what it’s about? I’m going!

Which one of these movies seems worth a $16 ticket at the ArcLight in Hollywood? Besides CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR.

Tomorrow: my report on the big WGA rally. The hottest out of work writers in Hollywood will all be there! Hope to see YOU.