Negative buzz on the BEE MOVIE

Okay. I get it! The fucking BEE MOVIE is opening. I can’t remember a movie more heavily promoted and as a result a movie I want to see less.

I mean, I’m used to the typical media barrage before a studio picture opens. The self-serving star interviews. Hard hitting entertainment reporter Sam Rubin fawning all over Jodie Foster trying to sell her cry vengeance movie as social commentary or Milla Jovovich describing how RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION is really just a thoughtful film about women’s empowerment.

I’m used to studio hype machines using ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT and HOLLYWOOD ACCESS as the tools they are. When ET leads off during the recent LA wildfires that displaced a half a million people with this headline: STARS HOMES THREATENED!!! you know you’re watching the show biz equivalent of the Mustang Ranch.

The obligatory “making of” documentary is a staple of a film’s rollout but unless you have HBO and your remote doesn’t work you never have to see them.

And tie-ins with fast food chains are now commonplace. SAW IV action figures at Del Taco, that sort of cross-promotion.

But nothing prepared me for the onslaught of hype for BEE MOVIE. Talk about using napalm to kill a moth. STOP ALREADY!! I KNOW it’s opening this Friday! I KNOW Jerry Seinfeld is in it! I KNOW it’s a hilarious comedy the entire family will enjoy. Please let me pick up a magazine and not see Jerry’s smug face. If the condition of his guesting on 30 ROCK is two shameless plugs then don’t do me any favors. I’d rather see Tina Fey filling the screen time anyway.

Even Jerry’s HP commercial was laced with BEE MOVIE mentions. Would he do a Flomax spot too if they let him slip in a plug? “If it weren’t for Flomax you’d be pissing in your pants when you see BEE MOVIE!”

And the irony of all this is that Jerry takes the stance (in every article in every publication including, I imagine, MODERN BRIDE and MERCENARY LIFE) that he doesn’t have to work. And yet he’s promoting this movie so relentlessly you’d think he’ll be forced to clean Faye Dunaway’s toilets if it doesn’t open.

BEE MOVIE might be terrific. But at some point there’s a backlash from over-promotion. In this case that came on Labor Day.

My biggest fear isn’t that the movie doesn’t live up to all the hype (how could it?), it’s that it does do well and there’s a BEE MOVIE 2. I might have to leave the country.