the Learning Annex

Several big US and Canadian cities have LEARNING ANNEXES. These are adult education classes that vary from being very worthwhile to some that are downright wacky. Many are taught by “experts” looking to push their books and lecture series. And a lot of the courses are self-help oriented. I always grab one of their catalogues when I see them.

Here are some of the courses being offered by the Los Angeles LEARNING ANNEX for Jan/Feb/Mar.

TEA TASTING AND WORKSHOP (“If I’m not mistaken that’s Lipton.”)

HOW TO OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLE by “Best selling author and superstar” Jenny McCarthy (I assume this is a course on oral sex.)

HOW TO BREAK THE CYCLE OF BIRTH AND DEATH – includes the First Law of Chaos and the “truth” about truths. (How can chaos have a law?)

HOW TO START A SUCCESSFUL JEWELRY LINE – with “Jewelry Designer to the stars” Loree Rodkin

HOW TO KICK YOUR SUGAR HABIT – become a “savvy sugar sleuth” and learn to recognize “sugar pushers”. (“Hey little girl, want some candy?”)

HOW TO START A PRIVATE INVESTIGATION BUSINESS – start your own agency with or without a license. (Prerequisite: HOW TO BE A LOWLIFE).

MAKE MONEY AS A PERSONAL COACH (Isn’t personal coach just a fancy name for mother?)

BECOME A SYNDICATED COLUMNIST IN THREE DAYS OR LESS (Day one: Buy the Tribune Company. Day two: Learn how to write.)

A SMART MAN’S GUIDE TO ATTRACTING AND DATING BEAUTIFUL WOMEN (I guess the Dumb Man’s guide is setting a bear trap with a sign that says “Free Food”)

LEARN TO SPEAK ANY LANGUAGE IN JUST THREE HOURS (to the disappointment of many – Klingon not included).

EVERYDAY FENG SHUI (as opposed to Feng Shui for those “special occasions”)

GET A PERFECT BODY WITH KETTLEBELLS (Cost of surgery not included)

With great courses like this you just wonder why there are still so many losers out there.