In Treatment

I am completely hooked on IN TREATMENT. It airs nightly on HBO and they’re in week four of nine. But you can catch up and watch the episodes on their website or HBO replays them whenever they’re not showing the “Making of SPANGLISH” or one of those other unwatchable movie – cough cough -- “documentaries”.

It’s adapted from a popular Israeli series so you know it’s not PETTICOAT JUNCTION.

The remarkable Gabriel Byrne stars as the therapist, Paul. And he’s just what you’d want in a shrink – he’s in a screwed up marriage, he’s getting burned out, he has the hots for one of his patients, and he can’t lose his accent.

You find yourself completely engrossed with each of his cases but it occurred to me that maybe it’s because they’re all sexy.

Mondays feature Laura (yummy Melissa George), a smoking hot anesthesiologist who’s in love with Paul and deals with rejection by hopping into bed with anyone.

On Tuesdays it’s Alex (Blair Underwood), an arrogant Navy fighter pilot who killed a bunch of innocent people during a bombing raid in Iraq and is there because he can’t get a good cup of coffee.

Wednesdays belong to Sophie (Mia Wasikowska), a cute high school gymnast banging her coach. She’s a cross between Juno and Chloe from 24. My heart goes out to her when I don’t want to smack her.

For Thursdays, Paul treats Jake & Amy (Josh Charles & Embeth Davidtz), a young couple struggling with infertility, marital issues, and who are we kidding? The Bobbits’ have a better chance of growing old together.

But the best is Fridays where Paul sees a therapist. (Actually, that’s not true. One Monday when Laura described giving a stranger a hand job in a bathroom that was more fun than Paul’s ennui.). But it’s fun to get in Paul’s head and Dianne Wiest (pictured) steals the series acting-chops-wise.

Like I said, sexy scenarios all. But in real life, this is probably Paul’s caseload:

Mondays – Ida. 81, nervous to interact socially because her Depends leak.

Tuesdays – Sarah. 25, actress wannabe. For a whole hour it’s just me, me, me, me, me, me, me.

Wednesdays – Rick. 54, hates his job at Aetna insurance, which he goes into with great minute detail.

Thursdays – Natalie. 64, Cries the entire hour. Just cries.

Fridays – Howie. 49, writer. Last credit: THE ROPERS. Guess what he talks about week after week after week.

But fortunately for us IN TREATMENT has more sizzle and intrigue. And when it’s over I know I’m going to feel such a void, such a loss that I’ll need to start treatment myself. Just hope I bump into Laura and not Ida.