MyNetworkTV

I just recently found out there is a sixth broadcasting network. No really. There is. It’s called MyNetworkTV. I don’t know anybody who gets it but I imagine there are some stations somewhere that carry it. Don’t you think? They have a website and are mentioned in Wikipedia. There's a rumor it's on in LA but there are also rumors that Elvis is still alive.

They launched September 5, 2006. Where was I? I mean, a sixth broadcasting network. How does that just slip through unnoticed? I’ve heard of Fuse, G4, N, Logo, even something called American Life TV (home of MAN FROM UNCLE reruns… made in 1963 with a budget of about $12 per episode -- at least $2 of it for Robert Vaughn’s Brylcream). But no MyNetworkTV.

That is about to change in May. For sweeps MyNetworkTV is rolling out the big guns. On May 16 they premiere an hourlong documentary, “Anna Nicole Smith: Centerfold Revisited,” which is an update of an earlier special about Smith that MyNetwork ran (in other words, it’s unseen) followed by an hour called “Britney Spears: A Pop Idol Exposed.” Adding a touch of class to both documentaries, they’ve hired ACCESS HOLLYWOOD to produce them.

But wait! May 8th is even better! A two hour special called “The Hooters Dream Girl Challenge” (the winner gets to keep her tips, so don’t laugh – this one’s for keeps!)

On April 24th they kick it all off with hour long specials “Hawaiian Tropic Intl. Beauty Pageant” and “Ujena Bikini Jam.” I’m not making this up.

A week later come two more hour specials. “America’s Trashiest Weddings” and “Body Doubles: Intl. Twins Search.”

If any of you get MyNetworkTV can I come over? Especially on April 24th. By the way, MYNetworkTV is owned by Fox.

Oh wait…

There actually IS a station that carries it in LA? It must be way up on the dial, Channel 87 or something. Or is really licensed to San Bernardino.

Huh? Channel 13?! KCOP? One of LA’s original seven stations?

The station that used to carry the Dodgers now carries “Ujena Bikini Jam”? Seriously guys, take out an ad.

My only fear -- I hope the salacious nature of these shows doesn't tarnish the credibility of their news shows, featuring such hard-hitting journalists as Lauren Sanchez (also the host of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE), Maria Quiban...







and Gigi Graciette.


Meanwhile, Elvis must be well in his 70's by now.

Next post: my weekly recap of AMERICAN IDOL. A few of you have asked why I bother? The reason: when I do I have more viewers than MyNetworkTV.